The Psychic Frauds Are Still At It

by Christine Hall

Back in August of 1999, I penned a column on psychic fraud Raylene Van Worth, who'd written me a "personalized" computer letter to let me know that she had a vision concerning my future. I was in for a period of great luck, it seemed, with a Tudor style home and a new car with leather interior in my future. Most of all, however, the letter was meant to prey on my insecurities and supposed lack of a meaningful life. "I felt you have no one you could really trust," she wrote. "And I felt your loneliness."

What she wanted, of course, was money. For a discounted price, she would be willing to be my psychic and financial advisor, as well as my best friend.

That column created more mail than anything I've ever written. I got letters of thanks, from people who'd been about to send a check for Ms. Van Worth's services when they'd read the column. I got letters of regret, from people who'd sent monthly checks for several years and got nothing in return. I posted the column on my web site in the year 2000, where it's been one of the most visited pages on the site, and continues to generate a considerable amount of mail.

Since then, a lot of water has gone over the psychic dam. Ms. Van Worth's letters quit arriving in my mailbox about six months after the column was published. Dionne Warwick's Psychic Friends Networks, the company that employed only "master psychics," couldn't see their own future and filed for bankruptcy. Miss Cleo admitted she was a fraud and was put out of business by the feds.

I had hoped that this meant that the psychic frauds were on the way out; that the spate of 1-900-I'M PSYCHIC lines, television infomericals, and direct marketing campaigns was coming to an end. I was hoping that it would soon be possible for honest astrologers, Tarot readers and palm readers to ply their trade without being tainted by these grifters.

In retrospect, I should've done a Tarot reading on the subject. As Miss Cleo used to say, "The cards, them never lie." The cards would have told me to quit dreaming and face reality, because as long as there are fools to be separated from their dollars there will be phony psychics to prey on the unwitting, the lonely and the down-and-out.

This week I received a letter, another "personalized" computer letter, this one from Carmen (no last name given) who bills herself as an "Angelic Clairvoyant." In her favor, she didn't attempt to take advantage of my low self-esteem or loneliness. Carmen appealed solely to my greed.

"If you receive this letter today, Christine, it's simply because you are part of the privileged few registered on the list of the next 'big' eligible jackpot winners," the letter began. "It's written in the great book of destiny, and before too long the year 2003 should change your life completely around... But everything is not as easy as it seems, as your Karma may be 'charged' and something could be blocking your 'luck,' especially in the area of money!"

It seems that Carmen is in touch with the fates who control the lotteries. She's had a peek at "the great book of life" and seen that I might be about to win a lottery worth "more than 12.5 million." She's also seen that I might be about to meet an older person "that you do not know yet," who will change the course of my life.

"You are probably wondering how I know all this," the letter goes on to say. "You don't know me, but I am an expert in the supernatural and can see events before they happen. And when I make a prediction, as a general rule, I am not wrong. When I 'see' two great events that can turn a life around in such a positive way, I say to myself, I hope that Christine will trust me and will reply to me soon."

She promises to help me to get in harmony with supreme forces, using a special ritual known only to her, so that my karma doesn't keep me from winning the lottery that is already mine, and to give me "the burning red numbers that will fall on the day to play the game." She also promises to tell me "more about the mysterious positive person that you could be destined to meet" and "what help this unknown person" might give me.

All of this for the bargain price of ten dollars.

I think I'll pass. If you get such a letter, I'd advise you to also take a pass. Just take the ten dollars to the bingo hall. Even if you lose, you'll come out ahead.