Health/Natural: My Midwife, My Friend

When I was 6 months pregnant with my second baby, I met some wonderful women at a birthing support group. I was having a difficult time making ends meet and was not working due to complications in my first pregnancy. My man and I had decided that it was best for me to stay home and take care of myself and our baby that was growing inside of me.

At the meetings, I met a wonderful woman who turned out to be a midwife and whose heart went out to every single woman in the group. I mentioned how wonderful it would be to have her as a care provider as I was not entirely happy with my OB/GYN. I felt like I was being run through on an assembly line. It was hurry up with the urine sample, hurry up with the feet in the stirrups, a few general questions, and my check-up was over. I left dizzy, with some rather general instructions in a pamphlet. My nutritional guidance came from a bottle of little red, prenatal vitamins.

The most annoying part was that my holistic view on life and health care was merely tolerated. How dare I question the doctor’s orders? The glucose intolerance test was the end of the line for me. I had to fast before the test. Even under non-pregnant circumstances, I did not do well with fasting, since I have an incredibly high metabolism and must eat three to four meals a day. Fasting while carrying a big baby inside my womb was way out of the question. Although I did do the test and survived, I ended up with a migraine, was nauseated, crying, dizzy and I was sick for several days following the test. The results were normal, but good Goddess, I thought I was going to die in the meantime! .

As I explained my misgivings concerning the OB/GYN at the mother’s support group, tears welled in my eyes as I told the midwife that I just couldn’t afford her because my insurance would not cover her type of care. She laughed and said, “Do you think I do this for the money? I have literally taken chickens and babysitting in swap for my services. I do this because it is my passion!” Well, we came up with a swap. My husband painted her house! .

My midwife actually cared about me as a person. She loved my baby and me and knew more about birth, the woman’s body and nutrition than my OB/GYN. She didn’t hurry me through my visits, but took the time to get to know the entire person that I am, including all my dreams, desires and problems. Having had five children herself, she knew the intricacies of pregnancy and birth first hand. She counseled me through my sexual and spousal abuse issues, offering me knowledge to help with my growth, and she held me while I cried (I’m wiping tears away as I write this).

She made me feel like I was the most important woman in the world. She offered solutions to my problems, instead of patting me on the butt and telling me that it would be over soon. My husband had issues of his own and didn’t know how to handle all of my ultra hormonal emotions and fear, so she worked with him as well and helped him to be more involved in the pregnancy.

She gave me herbs and nutritional supplements to get my body ripened for the birth. My first child was born cesarean. I never went into labor because I have a high testosterone hormonal type and didn’t have enough progesterone, estrogen or prostoglandins for my body to go into labor, so the doctors simply cut my baby out, which was their only solution. But she gave me herbs to ripen my cervix, and counseled me about the abuse issues that had me all locked up inside. She knew how the mind, heart, body, soul and emotions all work together as one whole unit.

I had my beautiful baby girl in my living room with my dear friends present and my husband holding and coaching me throughout the entire labor. I took no pain medication, but followed my body and did what I was intended to do.

The first thing our baby saw was her father and mother. She wasn’t blind due to stinging antibiotic drops that are given to every baby born in a hospital just in case the mother has herpes or some other infectious disease. I opted to make sure I was infection free by having a few tests done prior to the birth. They use the drops in the hospital because it’s easier than running expensive tests on every single woman that’s giving birth. The first thing my baby ate was my wonderful colostrum from my breasts, not water laced with glucose from a bottle that is given to hospital babies.

When my first child was born in the hospital, the nurses refused to bring him to me because I was a young first time mom. Even after I left the recovery room they said that I needed to rest and refused to bring me my brand new baby. I cried for about 6 hours until my roommate finally called the nursery and screamed and threatened the nurses until they finally brought me my baby.

Then some huge, mean nurse took twenty minutes showing me how to hold him. I finally snapped and said, “Give me my baby,” pulling him to my breast. He immediately latched on and the nurse exclaimed, “My, he’s a hungry bugger, we just gave him a bottle!” They were also very rough with me; from the time they ripped out the catheter, to the uterine “massaging” (she kneaded me like my uterus was a blob of whole grain bread dough, my midwife was much more gentle, but still effective), to the doctor ripping the tape off my incision without warning. I screamed at him and slapped him! I had no idea he was going to rip the tape off and my response was purely out of shock and pain. I was taken by complete surprise.

My midwife gave our baby girl several APGAR tests, to see if the baby was responding normally and was fully developed, and monitored our blood pressure. She spent at least six hours with me and the baby and didn't go home until she was sure we were stable. She returned the next day and three days after that, calling every day and insisting on talking to my husband to make sure we were all fine and doing what we were supposed to do.

The after care was wonderful, I didn't have to leave my home. My support-group moms brought me food and checked in on me too. How loved I felt! The care I received from my midwife was complete. She never dissed my doctor. In fact, she insisted that I not burn my bridges with him, because he had a place too. She encouraged me to educate myself and to take my power back, to question authority but to remain balanced and open to science, ideas and knowledge.

By staying open to alternatives, I allowed myself more freedom and room for growth. Had I not pushed myself to reach out to the women’s group, I never would have had the satisfying experience of my healing journey and empowering birth.

Copyright 2001 Debora Myers. http://www.Ladyfire.com. Build Your Passion for Life - Create Your Own Reality! Ladyfire offers expert advice, inspirational articles, stories, and techniques to build a foundation of empowerment for realizing your dreams. Ladyfire's Focus: Sexuality, Romance, Spirituality, Civil and Environmental Responsibility, Humor, The Paranormal, Relationships, Love, Health, Passion, Power! Sign up for our free Newsletter http://www.ladyfire.com/newsletter.htm.