Spirituality/General: Spiritual Beliefs About Living & Dying

Back in June my friend Linda died. Neither of us would say that we were extremely close friends. I had never been in her home, nor she in mine, and we had never met after work for cocktails or a bite of cheesecake as friends sometimes do. But we were friends nonetheless.

She ran the coffee house across the street from where I worked. Often in the late mornings, after the breakfast crowd had gotten their caffeine fix and left, I would go in and sit at the bar to nurse a black coffee, smoke a couple of cigarettes and gossip with Linda. We would talk about her three sons and her grandchild. Sometimes we would discuss the problems a mutual acquaintance was having. Occasionally, she would draw a Tarot card from an old worn deck that she kept behind the bar and I would interpret it for her. Mostly we would joke about the men in her life, hatching humorous schemes to get even with the guys she thought had treated her unfairly.

Several months ago, after she was diagnosed with a tumor on her lungs, she left her store in the care of her sons to begin treatment. I saw her now and again, sadly witnessing the damage that the disease, combined with chemo and radiation therapy, was having on her. Sometimes I played the hypocrite, scolding her for continuing to smoke while I puffed away on a Winston Select. Towards the end of June I arrived home to find a message on my answering machine. Linda had passed away.

Many people have observed that, here in the west, death is not considered to be a pleasant subject. Death is something from which we hide or hold in denial. We live our lives as if death will never happen and when someone we know does die, we feel that it is a great tragedy. Often it is, for usually we are not prepared to die.

Virtually all of the worlds religions seek to prepare us for death. Many religions believe that, instead of seeing death as a negative, we should see it as a natural part of the life cycle. All say that constantly preparing for death is a good way to live. Here in the buckle of the Bible belt, all of us are familiar with the viewpoint of organized Christianity on the subject of death and dying, but are relatively unaware of what other spiritual systems have to say on the subject.

The ancient Egyptians believed that when we die we are taken before Osirus, who represents the cycle of life/death/rebirth. Once before this “king,” our heart is placed on a balance scale against the weight of a feather. If we are heavy hearted, if our heart outweighs the feather, we are thrown to the “crocodile gods” and returned to another life on earth to try again. If we have no regrets and our heart is as light as a feather, then we are allowed to break the cycle of life, death and rebirth, and are graduated to a higher level of existence.

The Tibetan Buddhists believe that it’s important to meditate both on the preciousness of human life and on the inevitability of our deaths. They believe that it is only when we are incarnated in human form that we have the ability to achieve enlightenment or to escape the life/death/rebirth cycle. Therefore, this life is precious and should not be wasted, for we have no way of knowing how long it will be before we will be reborn as a human again.

The Christian belief that on the day of judgment all of our earthly actions will be shown to us has been echoed by the old folk saying, “A drowning man sees his life flash before his eyes.” This idea is supported by the experiences of “near death experiencers,” those who have been pronounced clinically dead and then brought back to life. NDEs, as these people are called, all speak of the “life review.”

Tom Sawyer (that’s his real name) had a near death experience a dozen or so years ago when the pick-up truck on which he was working in his garage fell off a jack while he was underneath it. According to ambulance and hospital records, he was clinically dead for over 15 minutes. During that time he had experiences that are common to NDEs, like the experience of looking down upon his body. But its the “life review” that he seems to remember most vividly, and he concentrates on this part of his experience whenever he speaks publicly.

He says that he saw everything he’d ever done, both good and bad. Evidently, Sawyer was something of an ugly bully before the incident and, in this life review, he saw himself doing things of which he was not proud. He cites as one example a time when he assaulted a driver who had accidentally invoked his rage on a crowded street, beating the man severely enough to require medical attention. But he says that he did not feel as bad about himself as he could have, because he saw these scenes through the eyes of “unconditional compassion and love.” It was as if some divine source was forgiving him and telling him to change his ways when he returned to the world of the living.

If there is a theme that is common to the NDE’s, the Buddhists and the ancient Egyptians, it is that the things you do in this life will matter in the afterlife. In fact, this belief is common to all the world’s religions. It matters little whether you believe in reincarnation, the transmigration of souls or an eternity spent in heaven or hell. The important thing to remember is that you prepare for the next life by how you live this one. Even if you don’t believe in an afterlife, what do you have to lose by living your life as if you will be held accountable? “Loving your neighbor as you love yourself” will only make the world a better place.

Which brings me back to my friend Linda. As far as I can tell, she was a good wife and an excellent mother. In her business dealings, she always went out of her way to be fair, suffering rude customers or unfair complaints gracefully. She was always willing to get involved in community activities. Most of all, perhaps, she was always good humored and light hearted.

No matter what afterlife she’s living, I know she’s doing fine.

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