Reviews: The Allies of Humanity: Book One

There are plenty of people in the New Age who believe that the mother ship of the Galactic Sisterhood is on it's way to rescue us. The ship comes from a world where everyone is something akin to a Tibetan Buddhist. When they get here, they will show our leaders and the capitalists who control the world economy the errors of their ways, we will all evolve into spiritual beings of great compassion and the planet will live happily ever after.

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Marshall Vian Summers, author of The Allies of Humanity, Book One, wants you to know that's not how it is.

First, he sides with the UFO crowd in believing that the aliens already walk among us and are known to many of our leaders. In other words, they're not coming, they're already here. Second, although they may pretend to be here to help, they've actually come to serve their own interests. They want to colonize us in order to exploit our natural resources and cheap labor. Third, the aliens who do want to help us can't because of their belief in noninterference. In other words, we're on our own and good luck to us.

The good thing is, the aliens who are here plan to take us over by mind control and won't start a war if we resist – they'll just go home. That would explain the mind-numbing spate of sitcoms and reality shows on the boob tube in recent years, wearing us down so we'll be susceptible when they “go to level” and start using Silva Mind Control methods on us.

How does Summers know all of this? Easy. The good aliens, called “The Allies of Humanity,” told him so, using the most reliable of communications tools, telepathy. They have chosen Mr. Summers, and Mr. Summers alone, to be their mouthpiece on our planet. The fate of our planet rests entirely on his shoulders. What a weight to bear. It's a good thing he signed up for all those extra minutes with the Telepathic Friends Network.

Although the Allies are firm in their warning that we must be very careful about how we deal with the bad aliens, they are very short on details. Part of the problem is that they've never actually been to our planet, but have been relying on second hand accounts about us. We must assume that they've met the bad guys, the ones who want to get us into a long term sub-prime planetary improvement loan with variable interest rates (they'll colonize us by foreclosure), but about all they tell us about them is that they will exploit our spiritual beliefs in order to take away our freedom and gain access to our natural resources – which means they must be Republicans.

It's up to us, say the Allies. To beat them, they say, all of the peoples on the planet must rise up with one voice, like that's likely to happen. I wish Mr. Summers luck in convincing the leaders of Israel, Palestine, Syria, Iran, Iraq, North Korea, the United States and Russia that the time has come for us all to put our differences aside to defeat the godless aliens from outer space.

It's more likely that Bush and the Israelis will get together and come up with a plan to just build a wall around the planet, an idea they say is working in the West Bank and is promised to work wonders along the Mexican frontier. Then we can continue to go about our business of fighting our wars and exploiting our poor. We can even get the Russians to help. After all, they built a fine wall in Berlin.

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